When God Seems Quiet: Remembering He Is Still There While We Wait
There was a season in my life when waiting did not feel peaceful.
My mom and stepfather had been placed in a nursing home against their wishes. My stepfather was legally blind, and Mom had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. As her illness progressed, she was eventually moved into an Alzheimer’s care unit, after my stepfather’s death.
My brothers lived far away, so much of the day-to-day care and visiting fell to me.
It was difficult for all of us.
There were decisions we could not undo, circumstances I could not fix, and questions for which I did not have answers. I could pray, but that did not mean the situation changed when I wanted it to.
Yet when I look back now, I do not remember God as absent from that season.
Quite the opposite.
I remember Him being in the room with us.
When God seems quiet, it does not necessarily mean He is absent. While we wait, we can keep returning to His Word, remain faithful in what is ours to do, and trust that His presence is not measured by how quickly our circumstances change.
That was something Mom helped teach me, even when she no longer realized she was teaching me anything at all.
When God Seems Quiet, the Waiting Can Feel Very Long
Waiting on God sounds almost peaceful when we talk about it after the difficult season has passed.
Living through it is different.
You pray.
You wait.
You hope something will change.
Then another day arrives and everything looks much the same.
Psalm 27:14 tells us:
“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart…” Bible Gateway
There is strength required in waiting.
Sometimes simply continuing to show up becomes an act of faith.
For me, showing up meant going to see Mom.
Sitting with her.
Reading to her.
Trying to understand what she needed that day rather than expecting her to be the person she had been before Alzheimer’s changed so much.
“Be Still, and Know That I Am God”
One of Mom’s favourite Scriptures was Psalm 46:10:
“Be still, and know that I am God.” Bible Gateway
Those words took on a different meaning during that season.
Being still did not mean everything around us became still.
There was plenty we could not control.
Mom could become quite agitated. Her world was becoming increasingly confusing, and there were days when it seemed difficult for her to settle.
But we would sit together and read.
Sometimes I read Bible studies and faith books by writers such as Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer. Most importantly, we read God’s Word.
Something often changed in those moments.
Mom became calmer.
Even when it appeared that she was not listening to what I was reading, I felt that God was there with us.
I cannot tell you exactly what she understood on any particular day.
I don’t need to.
I only know what I witnessed.
The room would become quieter.
Mom would settle.
And to me, it was a reminder that God was holding her close.
The Alzheimer Society of Canada reminds families that communication remains possible throughout dementia and encourages care partners to keep seeing the person, not only the disease. It also notes that presence itself can still be felt even when communication becomes difficult. Alzheimer Society of Canada
Alzheimer Society of Canada — Communicating with people living with dementia
That is something I learned in a very personal way.
The mom I knew was still there.
Sometimes I simply had to meet her differently.
“God Is Going to Hate Me”
One day, as Mom was getting closer to the end of her life, she suddenly looked at me and said:
“God is going to hate me.”
Her words shocked me.
This was my mom.
She was a woman of faith. In fact, she was the person who had first brought me to believing in God.
I could not understand why she would think such a thing.
So I asked her why.
Her answer broke my heart.
“I can’t remember Him.”
I did not have time to search for the perfect theological response.
I answered with the only thing that came to me:
“That’s okay, Mom. You might not remember God, but God sure remembers you.”
I did not know then just how much those words would stay with me.
God Remembers Us When We Feel Forgotten
Later, another Scripture seemed to speak directly into that moment.
In Isaiah 49, God comforts His people with the assurance:
“I will not forget you!” Bible Gateway
The passage uses the image of a mother and her child to express just how deeply God remembers His people.
Read Isaiah 49:15–16 in the NIV
Mom feared that because she could no longer remember God the way she once had, perhaps she had somehow lost Him.
But faith does not depend upon the strength of our memory.
Her illness could affect what she could recall.
It could change the way she spoke.
It could cloud names, faces and familiar things.
But it could not erase God’s knowledge of her.
She might not have been able to remember Him.
He still remembered her.
That truth became one of the deepest lessons of that season for me.
The Patience of Job
Mom used to tell me that I had the patience of Job.
For a long time, I suppose I thought the little patience that I had, was simply part of who I was.
Looking back, I think much of that patience was formed during the time I spent caring for her.
James 5:11 points specifically to Job’s perseverance and reminds us of God’s compassion and mercy. Bible Gateway
Caring for someone through Alzheimer’s required a different kind of patience.
Sometimes the same conversation happened again.
Sometimes things that had always been simple became difficult.
Sometimes I had to remind myself that what I was seeing was the illness, not a deliberate choice on Mom’s part.
The Alzheimer Society of Canada explains that changes in behaviour can be a person’s way of communicating confusion, fear, discomfort or other needs, and recommends responses such as reassurance, calm communication and trying to understand what may be behind the behaviour. Alzheimer Society of Canada
Alzheimer Society of Canada — Understanding dementia and behaviour
That understanding taught me something beyond caregiving.
Patience is not simply waiting without complaining.
Sometimes patience is learning to look beneath what is happening and respond with kindness rather than frustration.
Quiet Does Not Mean Absent
There were certainly moments when I wished God would change the situation.
Make Mom well.
Make everything easier.
Give us answers.
Let us go back to how things used to be.
That did not happen.
But I began to understand that God’s presence and God’s immediate intervention are not always the same thing.
He may be quiet without being absent.
He may be working in us even when the circumstances around us remain unchanged.
I do not pretend to know why every difficult thing happens, and I would never tell someone that their suffering was simply given to them so they could learn a lesson.
But I can say this about my own experience:
That season changed me.
It deepened my faith.
It taught me patience.
It increased me kindness to others.
It taught me to look for the person beyond the illness.
And it taught me that sometimes we need to lean on one another in ways we never expected.
Sometimes God’s Timing Is Forming Something in Us
I have often wondered whether one reason God’s timing feels so different from ours is that we are looking only for the changed circumstance.
God may also be doing something within us while we wait.
We want the answer.
He may be forming perseverance.
We want the door to open.
He may be teaching us to trust Him while it remains closed.
We want the situation over.
He may still be showing us something about love, compassion, patience or ourselves.
That does not mean we have to enjoy the waiting.
It means the waiting does not have to be empty.
This is one of the places where my earlier reflection, What Are You Carrying That God Never Asked You to Carry?, connects so naturally. There are moments when waiting requires us to release what we cannot control while still faithfully doing what is ours to do.
What Are You Carrying That God Never Asked You to Carry?
What Can We Do While We Wait?
Waiting does not mean doing nothing. During seasons when God seems quiet, I have found it helpful to:
- Return to Scripture, even when I do not feel as though I am receiving an immediate answer.
- Keep praying, including the honest prayers that admit I am tired, frightened or confused.
- Be still sometimes, instead of filling every quiet space with another attempt to solve the problem.
- Do what is mine to do today, rather than trying to control tomorrow.
- Look for God’s presence, not only for a change in circumstances.
Sometimes the evidence of His presence is subtle.
A Scripture that reaches us differently.
Peace that arrives for a few minutes in a difficult room.
Strength to do something we thought we could not do.
A moment of clarity.
A conversation.
Or simply the ability to keep showing up.
I Began to See My Mom Differently
By the time Mom reached the end of her life, I had been given something I could not have understood at the beginning.
Time.
Not easy time.
But precious time.
I saw Mom in a different light.
The woman who had once cared for me now needed me to care for her.
The woman who had helped lead me toward faith sometimes needed me to remind her of what she had once taught me.
The woman who had told me I possessed the patience of Job was helping God build that patience more deeply into my life.
There was sadness in that.
But there was also an incredible privilege.
I became grateful that I had been given the opportunity to walk that part of the road beside her.
It was an honour.
“I Can See Him”
And then came Mom’s final words.
“I can see Him.”
Even now, those words give me goosebumps.
I cannot tell you exactly what Mom saw in that moment.
I don’t need to turn it into something I can prove or explain.
I only know what she said.
And I know what those words meant to me after the conversation we had shared earlier.
She had once worried:
“I can’t remember Him.”
And I had told her:
“That’s okay, Mom. You might not remember God, but God sure remembers you.”
Then, at the end:
“I can see Him.”
For me, there was peace in that.
A circle had somehow closed.
The God she feared she might forget had never forgotten her.
Perhaps Waiting Is Not Silence After All
Looking back, I wonder whether God was ever truly silent during that season.
Perhaps I was listening for one kind of answer while He was speaking in another way.
Through Scripture.
Through quiet afternoons with Mom.
Through patience I did not know I was learning.
Through the privilege of caring for her.
Through those few unforgettable conversations.
And ultimately through three simple words:
I can see Him.
God had been there all along.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do when God seems quiet?
When God seems quiet, continue to pray, return to Scripture and remain faithful in what you know to do. A lack of immediate answers does not mean God has abandoned you. Waiting can become a time of deeper trust, even when the circumstances remain difficult.
Does Psalm 46:10 mean we should simply do nothing?
I don’t understand “be still” as an instruction to ignore responsibilities. For me, it is a reminder to stop believing that everything depends upon my own ability to fix it and to remember who God is. Bible Gateway
What can Job teach us about waiting?
Job’s story shows perseverance through suffering and unanswered questions. James 5:11 specifically points readers back to Job’s perseverance and to God’s compassion and mercy. Bible Gateway
Can faith still matter to someone living with dementia?
Dementia can change memory and communication in profound ways, but that does not mean relationships or meaningful connection disappear. The Alzheimer Society of Canada encourages families to continue connecting with the person and notes that communication remains possible throughout the disease. Alzheimer Society of Canada
For me personally, reading Scripture with Mom remained one of the ways we connected even when I could not know how much she understood.
What if I am tired of waiting?
Tell God that too.
Faith does not require pretending that waiting is easy. Sometimes the prayer is simply, Lord, I am tired. Help me stay close to You today.
A Prayer for the Waiting
Lord, when You seem quiet, help me remember that quiet does not mean absent.
Teach me to be still enough to recognise Your presence.
Give me patience for the things I cannot hurry, kindness for the people who need me, and wisdom for what is mine to do.
When I cannot see what You are doing, help me trust that You still see me.
And when I forget, remind me that You never do.
Amen.
He Is Still There
There may be something you are waiting for today.
An answer.
Healing.
Direction.
A change in someone you love.
An end to a season you never wanted to enter.
I cannot promise how or when that situation will change.
But I can tell you what I learned sitting beside my mom:
God’s quietness does not mean His absence.
Sometimes He meets us not by immediately removing the waiting, but by sitting with us inside it.
And sometimes, only when we look back, do we realise He was there in the room all along.
If you would like a quiet place to continue reflecting on Scripture, prayer and God’s presence in everyday life, you are welcome in The Faith & Reflection Room at The Story House.
Debbie 💛
Canadian Author/Illustrator
Founder of The Story House
